Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
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