Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(314): View more from Missouri

sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.

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(949): View more from California

I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful

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(208): View more from Idaho

the day after is always just damage control

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(847): View more from Illinois

i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding

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(415): View more from California

This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.

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(214): View more from Texas

If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.

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(435): View more from Utah

Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.

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(970): View more from Colorado

It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...

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(303): View more from Colorado

How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat

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