Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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