I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Randomize