pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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