I hope mine doesn't look like that
My underwear smells like fireworks.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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