lets start a swedish sibling band together
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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