Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
