You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
