im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
