No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
