Having a random hookup so left but love u
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
