I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
They are going to name an STD after you.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
