Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize