forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize