Sponge bath it is.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
