the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
