I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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