...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
