Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
