Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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