shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
