He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Send help, water and tortillas.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I'm getting married
To pizza
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
