I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize