STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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