They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
