its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Randomize
