I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
