you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
It's blow job season.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
