D3 body, D1 cock
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
