Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize