hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize
