the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
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