..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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