Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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