haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I'm going to jail i love you
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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