gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
