I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
false alarm. still invincible.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
