God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize