East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
