How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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