you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
