so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Randomize
