Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
