I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
