I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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