The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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