I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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