You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
