I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
