i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
