just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Randomize
