I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
try to milk me bitch
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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