Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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