how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
