Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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