I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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