Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
