Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Everclear isn't food dammit
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Randomize
