He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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