The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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